The English are clumsy and gross and at the same time runtish They do not make the best of themselves. Their bodies are thick, their faces are either pinched and beaky like mean birds or shapeless as potatoes." Is Drabble speaking for herself here? She doesn't seem to be speaking for David Niven, Cary Grant, Vivien Leigh or Julie Christie. And "pure- bred English" is a stupidly racist contradiction in terms.Nearing the end, the narrator says, "We are nearing the end Soon we can go for the kill. The pure-bred English are a motley, mottled, mongrel ugly breed, blotched with all the wrong pigments, with hair that does not do much for them at all. You see it coming the instant Drabble introduces him, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear.Will Paine, a character intended to be catalytic but really just peripheral, is half-Jamaican and, we are told, "too nice-looking to be pure-bred English. There are no landlord- tenant relations involved.Nathan's mother, meanwhile, doesn't like him living in his trendy South Bank block because there's an E in the postcode, an ugly reminder of the East End their Jewish family worked hard to escape from We are told she "hasn't moved with the times. She won't even eat food with an E in it." Surely a preoccupation with E-numbered food additives is as neurotically modern as you can get?David D'Anger, a suave Guyanese academic married to another of the sisters, is repeatedly described, because of his dazzling powers of persuasion, as "dangerous".

The allusion to the great illustrator helps us to visualise the scene and ties in with fairytale parallels elsewhere, but the chiming sound of "wracked" makes it all embarrassingly self-conscious and the suggestion of "rackrent" is a complete irrelevance. Describing the vast and hideous house where Frieda the "witch" lives in remotest Devon, the narrator asks, "What folly had built this folly here...?" For noticing that madness and an extravagant building can both be referred to by the word "folly", nul points.Frieda walks through her overgrown grounds, "this wracked and rent, this Rackham woodland". The mugging ingredient is a hefty thump of garlic.This chutney could almost be the HP of Asian condiments: the "all-purpose dip" for samosas, bhajias, kebabs and blistered portions of tandoori meats, marinated lamb cutlets in particular. This is something that is a permanent condiment in her Sydney fridge - at least it always seems to be. If I was to describe this bright green sludge as addictive, then it would surely be an understatement: fresh and herby, sprightly from chilli, warmed by a hint of cumin and sharpened with citric juices. Mellow coconut milk is the lubricator and salt and sugar provide final seasoning. The best dosas I have so far encountered have been in and around London's Drummond Street, just north of Euston Road.While Gay was staying with me, I asked her to make me some "green paste".

The potatoes are lightly spiced with fennel, cumin, mustard and fenugreek seeds and sometimes chopped spring onion is included (Asian champ?) Fresh green chilli, but not too much, lends a subtle "heat", and the usual condiment served with dosas is a mild and creamy coconut chutney. Leaves of fresh coriander add the correct note if any sort of "garnish" is thought to be a consideration.One of the most notable preparations in Indian vegetarian cooking (although not encountered in this particular high street) is the stuffed dosa. These large pancakes are either soft and doughy - rather like a floury Mexican tortilla - or crisper and ultra-thin, somewhat resembling a Breton crepe The filling is usually potato. A dull description though it may sound, this dosa stuffing is a just fabulous. Panni poori is an all-time favourite Asian snack, where tiny hollow pillows of crisp bread dough (poori or puri) have been deep-fried (they resemble the pommes souffle of French haute cuisine) until they puff up.

These are then punctured with the thumb, filled with chick peas, pieces of potato and a deeply delicious tamarind liquor. It should be noted here that Indian vegetarian cooking is possibly the most interesting in the world.Along with the sag, chick peas (chana) cooked in a rich and sharp tamarind- based sauce were another successful purchase; the plump and soft pulse taking up the spices and sauce in the most agreeable manner. Most of the menus are for use as take-aways, as well as for those sitting at table (these are usually simple affairs, relying on much use of Formica and plastic), and - on the whole - the choice is vegetarian. Cumin seemed to be the predominant spice used in the carton we bought, and the oil or ghee that had been used as lubricant sort of floated on top.Indian cafes abound in Southall's high street. There would be no problem finding this - many Asians live in Southall and much good Indian food can be found there. Sag is uncommonly good when carefully prepared. Essentially, it is spinach that has been cooked to within an inch of its life, together with subtle spicing, a fresh green chilli or two and some leaves of coriander stirred in at the last minute.