"Why do you like her so much?" demanded Jon, one of those guys who prides himself on his understanding of the female psyche and gets his research by shagging a different girl every week. "Because she's as short as me and she hates all the same girls I do Why do you like her so much?" He grinned "Because she can take her drink. When girls are drunk, they either get all upset and cry or they get over- excited. She stays controlled." "Why haven't you tried to sleep with her?" "Because of what I just said."Buffy never seemed like a real girl's girl. Not over a boy. On her 21st birthday, I made her a Drew Barrymore collage I had known her for about two weeks. We were at some dank, stuffy club, and tears were streaming from my eyes because of all the cigarette smoke. She was at the front of the bar queue, even though she was the shortest person in there.

Her cropped copper hair looked like tiny flames licking at her forehead. A Stella in each hand, she pushed her way out of the crowd, squealing "Excuse me, excuse me," in a dinky Glasgow accent I tapped her on the shoulder "Are you Buffy?" She gazed at me disdainfully Later, she apologised "It was just weird that you knew who I was. Like everyone in London is saying, 'Oh, there's that Scottish midget' " I knew who she was. Buffy is an old-fashioned "it" girl, like Twiggy and Drew Barrymore. Grace laughs and says, "What, like 'It' the killer clown in the Stephen King book?" I giggle nervously and murmur "kind of" She might as well be I have never been dumped before Not by a girl. Loads of hyperventilation and the odd suspected heart attack Oh, and there's always a big run on sprained ankles.".