The car parking system has more castes than Hinduism; the Brahman priests and scholars are directed to car park A; the Kshatriyas, the military and rulers, are also in A. The Vaisyas, the farmers and merchants, are directed to park B. How much money do you think he gets for using that red nose?" Mr Barnum, sorry, I mean Mr Bonallack, knows you need imagination to come to his circus. You needed factor 15 block at Lytham this year as the sun decided to turn its thermostat up full You needed a wide-brimmed hat And, above all, you needed to bring imagination.

In his circus tent you never heard people say: "Who is that clown? What ring is he playing? How did he do yesterday? I can't see, did he manage to avoid that custard pie hazard? His partner, where is that other clown from? Was that applause? Did he pull that joke off? I can't see. Barnum at least had the vision to put all his acts inside a ring with the audience seated around the show. Just as Phineas Taylor Barnum merged with Bailey to produce the "Greatest Show on Earth", there must have been a Mr Royal who teamed up with a Mr Ancient with another kind of circus in mind. While not actually kitted out in top hat, tails and a whip to tame the badly behaved, the ringmaster of the R&A's annual show, Michael Bonallack, must have mentally stood outside the gates of Royal Lytham and St Annes last week and shouted for all he was worth, "Roll up, roll up. The lucky lifters included 10 Europeans, five Latin Americans, two from the United States and one each from Africa and Canada.Even more fortunate were Tony Analau of the Solomon Islands and Wang Guohua of China According to the results, they failed to register a lift But, what the heck, they got Asian records too.. Roll up, roll up, to our tented shopping mall, where we will make your money disappear." Just like the show with clowns, elephants and a high wire, it's damn difficult to resist. Come inside, for a mere pounds 22, and watch men weep as they perform feats of magic.