He did have one other relationship before me with a girl his own age, but though they got engaged she broke it off But when he's 50 I'll be over 70. Would he still care for me then? We get on so well and I have never in my life met anyone so utterly kind, devoted and loving. Would it be right for him?He wants to try for children but says if we can't have them it doesn't matter. For the past 18 months I've been involved, indeed am in love with, a young man of 25.My children really enjoy his company and he virtually lives round here at the moment He is now pressing me to get married It means an enormous amount to him And I don't know what to do.

It is best not to put yourself through this torture but it would be lovely if you could be there for your friend.EmmaLondon NW11Talk to the experts about public speakingI suggest Nick contacts the National Association of Speakers' Clubs, which aims to provide ordinary people with basic skills for public speaking. Write to: 3 Leawood Cross, Holloway, Matlock, Derbyshire DE4 5BD.MatthewSurreyNEXT WEEK'S DILEMMA: SHOULD I MARRY THIS YOUNGER MAN?Dear Virginia,I'm divorced and 43 with two children in their late teens. You could stand by his side during the ceremony and another close friend would like to tell all the tales and offer a toast to the reception.I know through a very close friend how the stress caused by the prospect of public speaking can ruin an occasion for you, not only on the day itself but all the previous days. My speech was short (I made a couple of clean jokes at my friend's expense, complimented the couple, and proposed a toast).

No one really wanted to hear the sound of my voice, so a short speech was appreciated Several people even congratulated me afterwards. So my advice would be to accept and remember that everyone in the room will be kindly disposed to you, and your friend would appreciate a few well-chosen and sincere words more than a long oration or a series of embarrassing stories about past exploits. I wouldn't have missed it, despite having a very light lunch!Andrew SheffieldA double-take would halve the problemPerhaps your friend would like to have two "best men" to make his day extra special. In my case, the school friend was best man at my wedding when we were 21, 10 years before. I did not know my friend's wife or family at all, and he has a plethora of cousins, aunts and uncles, so I was faced with around 100 strangers. I too have a slight speech impediment (a stammer) and a terror of public speaking.

In the end, I chose to go ahead and do it and it went very well. However, the nervous tension before the event and the nervous exhaustion after the event engulfed far too much of my life to make the effort worthwhile.Since then, I have learnt that it is OK to say no, and if your friend really values your friendship and in particular your feelings, I am sure he will understand.HarryLeicesterMake 'em laugh and enjoy the goodwillThe great thing about weddings is that everyone is willing you to do well, to make them laugh or remind them of past encounters and events Make the speech clear, concise and everything will be fine. Why not start by saying "John (the groom) didn't want his best man to give away past secrets in case it embarrasses him in front of his new bride so he chose me with an atrocious memory and a speech impediment!" It won't matter what you say after that!PaulAbingdonKeep it short and all will be sweetA couple of years ago I was in the same position as Nick. He handled it."Almost to a point where Britain's first medal of the Centennial Games was a gold "At 200 I was feeling so strong," Palmer said "I hadn't gone for my legs at all.