And he said: "I was employed even then by the BBC - though in a very minor capacity of course." I was straight back. "You're still in a minor capacity, Jimmy."And another thing, Tone, when it comes to the election Don't make it too daunting. Your personal approval rating has fallen to its lowest level since you became leader. A bit too much ruthlessness with the right foot, if you ask me.Tell you what Don't thrust yourself forward so much Look at me Lead sports anchorman. Hardly off our screens - Grand National, Euro 96, Wimbledon and now a fortnight of peaktime Olympic coverage But who says I'm over- exposed? Be more laid-back, son Let the others into the game.Like that John Prescott He's a bit good But don't leave him out on his own so much. I mean, just look at your speech to the last Labour conference All that stuff about Britain as a "Young Country".

It might have conjured up a mystical new Jerusalem to you, but it sounded like a cowboy film to me.Then there was your pamphlet New Labour, New Life for Britain - sounded more like a long-term prison sentence.And "The Stakeholder Economy has a Stakeholder Welfare System" Please!Anyway, it's not just about language It's tactics too.I see you were down in the polls yesterday. "And yet be capable of reacting to disappointment without despair." Well, you certainly get used to that when Brighton is your team, as mine is.Seriously, though, she's got a point. You wouldn't see that at Blackpool - and certainly not at the Labour party conference.Anyway New Labour's language should pass the Des Lynam test. That's what Miss Johnson says, in the New Statesman this week.You have to be able to "generate excitement, unity and ambition", she says. And instead, apparently, you're to model yourself on me. Well, stranger things have happened. As anyone who tuned into a spot of Olympic beach volleyball will tell you. What is more, it would be easier to remember it when stopped by the police.Best P-registration buys: Section Two, page 16.

Y'know, Tony I didn't know whether to take it as a compliment Or an insult. I gather that your former communications lady, Joy Johnson, has told you to elbow what she calls "the elaborate and obscure" language you use. You are not understanding what ordinary people want.This is going to become more of an issue as the election looms. Like tax, it is dangerous for Labour; to be branded as anti-car is analogous to being branded high-tax: both are issues where the British talent for hypocrisy is evident. Having transport ministers (or indeed shadow transport ministers, for this is more of a problem for Labour than for the Tories) who are intuitively opposed to the principal means of transport is a bit like having motoring correspondents who don't drive. Labour has floated the idea of some kind of differential car tax, designed to penalise gas-guzzlers, though the Tory decision each year to increase tax on petrol by 5 per cent more than inflation may prove a simpler and more effective way of achieving the same end.But this overt hostility towards the car - however fashionable - is politically dangerous. There are powerful arguments for curbing pollution by improving and enforcing emission controls, though diesel buses and taxis are a more obvious source of pollution in many city centres than private cars.