They also have access to a variety of the latest educational software on their parents' PCs. Although I am unable to afford my son more than one extra lesson per week and a basic word-processor, he is relatively fortunate. As a graduate, I am perfectly capable of teaching primary school maths and French myself. Sir: Amid the discussion of lack of motivation among working-class children ("Middle-Class kids rule, OK", 18 July) there was no mention of simple lack of money My son is nearly eight years old. Over the past four years (nursery and infants school), the small circle of his friends have had a variety of extra lessons outside school, including pre-school maths, French, Greek, music, dancing, swimming and tennis. Some of these children have lessons after school on three afternoons every week. But we reach better conclusions if we move forward slowly, rather than allowing ourselves to be nannied by legislators or cowed by the absolutism of Alton and his ilk.. Allowing couples to sell their extra embryos in order to pay for their own treatment may not be so immoral after all.

Many people may prefer to have five children - two of whom are brought up by strangers - than to have no children at all.We don't know the answers, we probably all have different answers. And some people will struggle to afford the treatment they so desperately want. Unless the taxpayer has a sudden change of heart and agrees to the extra cash for free fertility treatment for everyone, there will always be money involved. The HFEA are concerned that financial inducement is a bad reason for giving eggs, and risks undermining both respect for human life, and genuine free choice.

Donation, they say, should be a gift.The same approach applies to spare embryos; these could in principle be donated to infertile couples, but they cannot be sold to them. Our anxieties about the effects of an unregulated free market in fertility go to the heart of our reasons for legislating at all - rather than just allowing everyone to do exactly as they wish.But here we are still feeling our way. One such example is the HFEA's announcement this week (lost amidst the fuss about orphans) that they planned to phase out payments to women who donate eggs. No one will stand in the way of parents who agree with Alton (and the Vatican) braving the heartache of trying to bear every frozen embryo to term. Heartache, it undoubtedly will be, as very few implantations of frozen embryos are successful.But the absolutists cannot impose their views on other families who disagree. What dies with the embryo is not a child, but a couple's potential for children.

We should not be distracted by old debates when new ethical dilemmas over fertility are demanding our attention all the time. However, most people disagree with Alton's first principles, believing instead that there are no strict absolutes, only judgements to be made and balances to be achieved. Couples could suddenly find that against their wishes someone else was bearing and bringing up the brother or sister of their own children. That wasn't something they were warned about when they first agreed to fertility treatment. Nor is it something they should be forced to deal with and adjust to now.David Alton and his pro-life supporters are actually trying to return the debate to first principles again; human life starts at conception and is sacred Therefore unwanted day-old embryos are orphans. But should they fail to do so, the procedures are clear; as the producers expect, the embryos should be destroyed.The pro-life lobby believes that the rules are immoral. However, it would be far more unethical to change the rules now Imagine if we took David Alton's advice.