According to reports, Rangers were no better in Zurich, and that against much lesser opponents.By the end, both clubs were reduced to seeking consolation in the failings of others. It was certainly more fluid, inventive and sharp than United's defenders usually experience.Even the short cut of using foreign players does not appear to have helped our development. Manchester United and Rangers each had seven overseas players in their 16-man squads on Wednesday, yet both were not so much beaten as dismissed.In Turin, the swaggering champions of the English Premiership started so nervously they barely got the ball out of their own half until they were behind. They were capable of playing just as quickly as Premiership teams but possessed an ability to slow the tempo that is largely absent from these shores.If that were not enough, the back four was as well drilled as George Graham's Arsenal and their forward movement was worth recording on video for use in coaching seminars. No sooner do we absorb the lessons of last season than there are new ones to deal with.Juventus, on Wednesday, showed the blend of British and European qualities which our sides have been aspiring to achieve for years They were physically powerful and technically adept. Bal Harbour (next best 3.05) has also kept company his mother would be proud of, finding only Carling too good in a Group Three race at Deauville last time He is back among rascals in the Troy Stakes today..

It seems it is no longer just the children who go back to school every September. Footballers, too, resume their education each autumn, in European studies. "We will learn from that," Alex Ferguson said of Manchester United's Champions' League defeat by Juventus on Wednesday. Now where have we heard that before? The problem, it seems, is that the syllabus is changing each year. His form is as solid as an anvil as Equal Rights, whom he beat on his debut, went on to success in a Group Three event at the Curragh last month.

They'll get over it - and then they'll be free to listen to Pulp.. If there is not enough joy in your life it recommends "Making a list", and "Acting happy" "Smiling triggers happy feelings in the brain". Cherie tries out her new tight-lipped look as she sits barefoot on what looks like a fridge. She goes to tea at the Ritz with Prima readers, who ask her difficult questions like "How old are your children?" She is happy to be associated with a magazine that offers this imaginative time-saving tip: "Set the alarm clock 15 minutes earlier than normal and get out of bed at once. Time saved: 15 minutes." Still, it's all in a good cause isn't it? The cause of getting the C2 female vote.

If the Tories are going to wheel out Norma of the Used Tea Bags then Cherie will have to be made into Our Lady of the Nutritious Meal in Thirty Minutes.Despite that punitive phrase, "career woman", the fact is that many women with children work. That's why he bumbled on to Michael Jackson's Britpop set and straight into my hero list. As he put it, "anyone setting themselves up as a messiah figure is a bit dodgy". Being touching and wry at the same moment is the quintessential Jarvis expression - with an artfully timed pause. ("Want to sleep with Common People?/I (pause) I'll see what I can do.")But instead of adulating this modern hero, our colleagues and competitors have devoted miles of newsprint to boring Oasis Let's get it straight Oasis are second-rate. "Mother," he sings, "I think I left a part of my brain/Somewhere in a field in Hampshire." He's stoned, and talking to his Mum?!Deflation is the English art, and Cocker is its musically poised master. A man who writes a song fantasising about how a blue plaque might mark the place he first touched a girl's breast is not only ironic, he is absurdly and humanly true about the daftnesses that spin around inside the heads of arrogant, foolish boys.